How Thankful am I

Three people brought us food yesterday. I haven't had to cook in over a week, and it's AWESOME (sung opera style)!! Thank you, thank you, to all the wonderful people around me.

The kids love Ava. They think she's "so cute", and they think she's funny. "She makes funny faces! She likes it when I poke her in the eye! She likes it when I'm a half inch away from her face! She's asleep because I sang her a lullaby!"

I just love her little folded up body. I wish it weren't so cold so I could unwrap her more and stare at her cute little legs and belly. Speaking of Ava's belly, Aani saw her cord stump the other day and completely freaked out. She ran away screaming, "button has poopies!" and wouldn't come near Ava for an hour.

Before the baby is born, it's hard to imagine what life will be like with a new child in it, and how the family dynamic that you're used to is going to change, etc. I've been amazed every time that once my little baby is born, it's like I've known her (or him) forever. She's part of our family- she always has been and always will be.

Last week Nils was folding laundry and held up a pile of maternity clothes. He asked me what I wanted him to do with them, and I said, "Burn them." Then I sobbed for an hour. It hit me that this is it; I'll never wear those awful clothes again. It's such a weird paradox; being pregnant is miserable and it's not something I want to go through again. But that sacred experience of meeting your new baby makes everything more than worth it.

However, I love not being pregnant. And as life marches on, it boils down to a quality of life and a quality of parenting. We shall see how it goes with the four A's.

Ava's Birthday

Here is a fact-based post about sweet Ava's birthday. I want to write a separate "feelings" post.

I had a feeling a few weeks ago that I should go ahead and schedule an induction. I'm glad I did, because the last few days of my pregnancy were fraught with pregnancy-induced hypertension. (I had wanted to let nature take its course, avoid an epidural, and avoid paying an anesthesiologist. I'm getting very cheap in my old age.)

This extremely attractive and happy picture is of me last Sunday. I'd had a migraine all week, was swelling in my hands and face, and my blood pressure was on the rise. Hooray for PIH!

I had just woken up, and Nils started taking pictures. I was saying these words as this picture was taken: "Nils, stop. Seriously, it's rude." I was a delight to be around.

On delivery day, I was told to be at the hospital at 7:00 am. We were literally walking out the door when they called and said 3 women had just come in in labor, so I had to wait.

So I did.
Once again, we can thank Nils and his insatiable need to take pictures.

We got the call to go to the hospital. They hooked me up around 11:00 am. We watched two episodes of Glee. It made the time pass oh-so-quickly. The contractions were coming, but I was handling it like a champ. At this point I was still seriously considering NOT having an epidural. At about 1:50 the contractions were coming fast and furious about a minute apart- and hurting lots. I went from watching Mr. Shu & Co. dance and sing about to realizing I had a matter of minutes before things were getting serious, and if I was going to get the epidural it was then or not at all. My water broke while I was getting it, and I was hurting a lot. Then...that magical, warm, numb, tingley feeling came. (And now I owe that guy like $500. It was worth it at the time.) It numbed everything below my belly-button, but I still felt every contraction. I told the nurse that it was going to go fast from that point. Sure enough, I was at a 9. She called the doctor, who made it just in time. One push!

Ava Catherine Rasmusson
December 1, 2009 at 2:30 pm
6 lbs. 5 oz. 19"

El Doctor- Hey, thanks for showing up, buddy!

The doctor said I had the longest umbilical cord he's ever seen. It was like 3 1/2 feet long or something crazy. He kept coming back and looking at it. I don't know how to grow big babies, but I can grow freakishly long umbilical cords. It's how I roll.

The hospitals have major visitor restrictions because of the swine flu, so the kids weren't allowed at all. It was kind of sad that they had to wait until I got home to meet their new sister. Though I have to admit, it was nice to have a couple of days with just Ava and me before the chaos ensued. I love her.

She's Here!

Ava Catherine Rasmusson was born today at 2:30. She's a beautiful little earthling. She was quite the screamer for a few minutes but as I type she is sleeping peacefully and doing great. She's adorable. Here's her debut video. Thanks for all your prayers, thoughts and help. Katrina is doing great - the delivery went smoothly and quickly. Here's a video of Ava.

I'm Becoming My Mother

I just realized that I have two personalities. Like, I just realized this about 4 minutes ago. So there's Katrina and then there's Mom.

Katrina is me.

The Mom is that lady that cooks and cleans, tells the kids no, they can't have more cookies, to pick up their shoes and clean their rooms and all that other mom stuff.

I worry that while I'm Mom, my kids don't see me. When I sing the theme song to Spongebob opera style, they plug their ears. For some reason they don't appreciate how hilarious that is. Weird. But I especially worry that while I'm Mom, I don't convey enough how much I love them. In my defense however, they wouldn't tolerate me hugging and kissing them all day. So, do they just know?

A few weeks ago we were at my mom's house. When it was time to go, I sang, opera style, "Children! It's time to go! Please get in the van!" real singy-songy. I had a big cheesy smile on my face. Anders and Addie said, "Don't act like that!" I asked why, and they said, "It's too nice!"

Then I said, in an exaggerated grumbly voice, "Get out to the van!" They said, "Too mean!"

I asked how they wanted me to talk and they said, "NORMAL!" Normal. Normal would be the Mom. Down to business.

I'm wondering at what point my kids will see me and mom. Or, is this one of those, "your kids don't need you to be their friend, they need you to be their parent" sort of things? Do they need to see me?

When they catch glimpses of who their mother is besides their mom, I just hope they like me. Ya know?

My Little Slaves

Saturday morning chores bring families together.
We hate our vacuum. Any suggestions?

I'm Bored

Gosh, I'm so bored. Does that mean I'm boring? I've heard that bored people are boring.

The highlight of this last week has been this li'l box o' chocolates. Raspberry Cream, I love you... which is why I ate you.

So here's what's shakin':

• I've been released from teaching Gospel Doctrine given the current and upcoming circumstances. I'm not sobbing into my pillow about it at night, but I'm a little sad. I think it's a calling that everyone should have at some point. I learned a ton about the gospel, the scriptures, and myself.
• Nils, the KSL Classifieds stalker extraordinaire, bought a 60" HDTV today for $85. His baby the projector pooped out in July, so this is the replacement. I must admit, I have missed movie nights in the basement. We need a truck to haul the thing home. I'm sure Nils will soon find a way. He is gifted at getting what he wants. Truly gifted.
• I'm swollen. My face is fat, and that is a fact. It saddens me. I stumbled across this video the other day, and it gave me hope that I might look normal again one day. I'm also reminded that there should be no more composing and/or performing songs on my part.
  
• I'm scheduled to have a baby on December 1. Holy moly, that's in two weeks! It has been scheduled because I have a genuine fear of giving birth on the kitchen floor or Lehi Main Street. For real.
  
• Today at Target, I sat down in the aisle because standing was making me tired. That's the point I'm at. It was the toy aisle, so the girls were occupied.
  

And now, I'm all out of things to say.

Don't Judge

Nils says I look crazy in this picture.

The 64 oz. was only thirty cents more than the 32. How could I pass up that deal? I thought maybe a drink that big would make my belly look smaller. Meh.